In which The Friendliest Man In The World asks me The Best Question In The World

(*Disclaimer* The following topic is a vast, vast topic that I will certainly not be able to exhaust in one post. I left things out, and there are things I'm still mulling over. So expect future conversations on this beautiful matter.)

Via tumblr

On Monday I had the pleasure of meeting The Friendliest Man In The World.

He may just be The Friendliest Man In Kentucky, but we'll call him The Friendliest Man In The World.

When I say The Friendliest Man In The World, I should probably say The Most Intentionally Friendly Man In The World, but that's just too much for me to write.

Actually, I'm just going to call him Dr. Friendly.

So. Here's how it happened.

I was waiting on a order at a little café in the science building of my school (best food on campus). This gentleman had ordered his food before me--making the register lady laugh in the process, of course--and so he was waiting on his food as well. I was sitting on a bench facing the register, and he was sitting at a table in front of me to the left, my 10 o'clock position. I was checking my phone and avoiding eye contact with anyone like most stupid, media-addicted kids these days. He looked to be in his late 40s; he was a distinguished and tall African-American with a short afro that was greying at the temples. I didn't feel like making chitchat (mostly because I'm bad at it) and the situation didn't really require it. But he had other ideas.

Dr. Friendly: "What kind of shoes are those?"

Me: "Uh… Um… Brooks."

Dr.: "I mean are they for biking, hiking, sports…"

Me: "Oh! Running; they're lightweight."

Dr.: "Do they have the incline, or are they flat?"

Me: "Flat, it's kinda like barefoot running."

Dr.: "Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to switch over to that."

Me: "Yeah, it's pretty cool…"

Dr.: "So what's your story?"

Me: "My story?"
Dr.: "Yeah, what's your major, where're you from, you know."
Me: *explained where I'm from, my former major, and current major.* "What's your story?"

Dr.: *his food is ready so he gets that while explaining.* "My wife teaches occupational therapy and I'm here to guest lecture in her classes today, on ethics."

Me: "Oh, wow, that's really cool."

Dr.: Yeah, well, it was great talking with you. Say, what's your name?"

Me: "Rachel, and yours?"

Dr.: "(says his name, one I didn't quite catch and quickly forgot, unfortunately. He did say doctor, I’m pretty sure.) And by the way, I love your hair."

Me: (I have a pixie.) "Oh, thank you so much! Most men don't really like short hair."

Dr.: "Oh, I love it on you. And don't listen to them, it's some homophobic thing they've got going on."

Me: "Oh, really?! That's interesting."

Dr.: "Yeah, they think that short hair is too much like a guy's and that they shouldn't like it. But it's beautiful and you should keep it. I don't know what it looked like before---"

Me: "Oh, it was really long."

Dr.: "Yeah, and I don't know why you cut it, but it's you. It's totally you and you look great."

Me: *bubbling thanks* "Thank you!"

Dr.: Well, I gotta go, but it was great to meet you and when I see you on the street, I say hey 'Rachel from EKU' and we'll know each other."

Me: *laughing* "Sounds great, it was good to meet you to!"

(This wasn't quite a word-for-word, but you get the point.)

So, obviously I like the guy because he liked my hair and explained why men don't like short hair, a topic that has frustrated me previously. (The response was rather fascinating and makes a lot of sense, don't you think?)

But there was a lot more. He was deliberate in his conversation. Intentional. He may or may not have been all that interested in my shoes, because I felt like he asked that just to lead up to The Best Question In The World: What's your story?

The Friendliest Man In The World asked The Best Question In The World.

I'm all about stories. You will find that out. A lot of things in my life recently have revolved around that fact that we all have stories.

We are living stories who like to learn about other people's stories whether they are real or imaginary stories. Sometimes there are those of us who like read or watch fictional and fantastical stories that inspire our own. Sometimes we (sadly) don't like our own story so we do what we can to escape into other stories or end ours completely.

We all like to intertwine our stories with other peoples' stories. Sometimes our story could have been the same with or without another person's story. Sometimes our lives take a complete turn because of story interaction.

I don't know about you, but I like to people watch. A lot of the time I'll deduce and/or make up a portion of their story. (International airports like Atlanta are the best place to people watch, by the way.) Sometimes I'll be sitting somewhere like a coffee house or the library and really just want to ask the person sitting across the room 20 questions. What did they order or what are they reading? Why? Why did they choose that color shirt today? What's their favorite color and why? Who is the most important person in their life and why? Where are they from? What do they do for a living? Et cetera, et cetera.

In short: People and their stories are fascinating and so very, very important.

Googly images

In high school I took an elective course called Humanities from a Christian Perspective. One of the many things I took away from that class was the idea that each and every person was created in the image of God. There's an actual phrase for it, called imago dei. The definition of this Latin phrase "refers most fundamentally to two things: first, God's own self-actualization through humankind; and second, God's care for humankind." (Further explained here.) That changes the way you treat people. Until you forget, of course, or someone pisses you off. But in all seriousness, what would happen if we actually lived like everyone was created in the image of God, each living out their own story within His story? If we treated everyone, regardless of their life choices or circumstances, like they were created in the image of God living within His story, where would we be?

I suppose my point is this: take the time to learn other people's stories. One of the things I hate the most is when people think that me and my story are normal. I hate myself when I think that of others. When we take the time to share our stories with one another, we are showing that we care. When we are unable to share our story, the result is loneliness. I believe that we were designed to share our stories. Carl Jung (I don't care what you think about him) said this: "loneliness doesn't come from having no one around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that are important to you."

I'm generally hesitant to share my story or the current state of my story just because I am. But when someone gives me the chance, I feel so blessed. And when I say blessed, I mean fully alive, appreciated, and feeling like I can accomplish anything in the world.

That's how I felt after talking to Dr. Friendly. He took a brief amount of time to get to know the girl with the pixie waiting for her food, and changed everything about that Monday afternoon. He took a moment to really, actually care. I want to be able to do that for someone else at least once a week. Ask a question & learn their story.

What will happen when you ask The Best Question In The World?

 (Seriously. Ask it. I dare you to make something wonderful happen.)

"We're all stories in the end, just make it a good one, eh?"

P.S. I had the privilege of seeing these folks live. Watch The Autumn Film cover Coldplay.